Something’s happening.  With the influx of teenage pregnancy pacts, children giving birth to babies in elementary schools, and teenage couples being featured on popular cable television shows for becoming parents in high school- this state of our society troubles me.  The fact is, teens and pre-teens are having sex much earlier at an alarming rate without fully understanding the responsibility that comes along with acting like adults.  The state of our youth has gotten so out of hand that abortion has become the new regular form of birth control for some young women.  What’s happening to our youth and why have these behaviors become so acceptable?  What’s wrong with the mindset of not laying down with someone until you’re ready to deal with the emotional and possible physical consequences?  And no, being celibate is not unrealistic nor unreasonable.  I can attest to that.

I decided at the raging hormonal age of 14 that I was going to remain a virgin until I was married.  Now that I am in my mid 20’s, my journey to arrive at this place has not been easy.  What keeps me sane are my relationships- with God and with my close friends, some of who are celibate as well (women AND men).  It is my unmovable faith in God that makes me understand that my decision is not about me.  It never has been.  I love God and I don’t want to do anything that’s purposefully displeasing to Him.  We know that it’s a sin to engage in premarital sex.  With that said,  I’m no saint, whatsoever.  But I know that this fight is bigger than me.  I don’t wear my celibacy on my sleeves and nor do I feel ashamed of it either.

Maybe I’m some variation of a hopeless romantic, but I don’t want to have sex.  I want to make love- to my husband and have those feelings of requited love, trust, and faithfulness reciprocated back to me.  I get tickled with glee at the thought my husband will have something that no one else has ever had.

I think a contributing factor of why the current state exists is that we tend to be so self-absorbed, that we get stuck in the moment, neglecting to think about the future.  In this instant gratification society, we often times fail to think beyond now and only want to live in the moment.  Because of this, young people and adults alike confuse the euphoria that comes from having sex with actual love.  I challenge you to see what love can be like when the lustful physical elements aren’t clouding your emotions.

In our sex sells, sexed up, sex tape society, we scratch our heads wondering why kids are deciding to make these decisions much earlier.  Until there’s a major paradigm shift and an uprooting of generally accepting behaviors because “everyone’s doing it” mentality, our problems of today are only going to multiply exponentially.  If we continue to allow these problematic behaviors to spiral out of control, we will continue to see increased dependency on governmental assistance programs, increased high school drop out rates, higher poverty rates, and the hopes and dreams of our youth deferred, or even worse, dissolved.

So my message to young boys, girls, women, and men is never feel obligated to pass out your treasures like they’re slices of endless pizza at a CiCi’s buffet.  And just because you’ve already started having sex, doesn’t mean that you have to continue.  The beauty in all of this is that you have the choice of starting today- right now.  That’s the first step.  Secondly, improve your relationship with God.  As one of my favorite comedians says, God would love to hear from you today.  Thirdly, listen to Him and trust Him.  He won’t lead you astray.  Next, surround yourself with like minded individuals.  There’s always strength in numbers.  Lastly, get serious and be firm about your decision.  There are so many roadblocks and potholes that will try to stop or slow you down, but remember you haven’t reached your destination yet.

There’s a saying that it takes a village to raise a child.  Unfortunately, I think we’ve failed so many of  our youth at attempting this.  We need to begin to correct this.  So instead of pointing the finger and finding fault in others, I’m willing to mentor a young person, volunteer at a community center, and do whatever else it takes before we lose another generation.  I need your help.  Join me.

Respect your temple, respect yourself.

Say it loud, I’m a virgin and I’m proud!

- Lady T