I sat up and reached over to turn on the lamp, “No baby, not a dream. I haven’t fallen asleep yet.  I just got some things on my mind.” It was one of THOSE sleepless nights again; despite a long day at work and 2 hour workout at the gym.  I was thinking of him, my grandfather.  I rarely did ever speak of him, but he crossed my mind daily and I still missed him.  He had traveled far away past this cold world to a place my grandmother called the Blue Bayou; I bet it was beautiful there.  You know the Blue Bayou, I wanted him to be somewhere beautiful, peaceful, and relaxing after fighting and building so hard.

She smiled and said, “Baby, anything you would like to talk about or anything I can do to help you go asleep?” 

She was good at trying to get me to open up and release my feelings and thoughts.  I kissed her warm lips, smiled, reached over to turn the lamp off.  She laid her head across my chest and thoughts of him enjoying the Blue Bayou came quickly back into my mind. I laid there for what seemed like hours, until she fell asleep. I loved her being close, especially on these sleepless summer nights.  My mind slowly, slowly drifted far away from that very room, which led to me going down stairs.  I sat at my desk with a pen in my hand, until this story flowed out of me. Welcome to part one of my grandfather’s sickness.

I remember it well, the dark cloud that hovered over my youthful years. It was hard to ignore. I tried looking around it, but there it was staring me boldly in the face.  My grandfather’s sickness was more than a thing; but a time and place where the seasons shifted almost daily.  It was the March of 1999. While everyone was anticipating celebrating spring, I was stood facing and was stuck in the coldest winter ever.

He was a hard worker and family man.  Quiet spoken with a voice heavy enough to sit on your chest and slow your heartbeat and breathing. Oh and how he loved his family.  The very strength and motivation that kept him holding on in those last days.  He was there for it all; summer, winter, spring, and fall. Did I mention winter?  

He stood for the best and weathered the worst of those seasons.  In those days he taught me how to walk with my head high, while keeping my eyes low to watch for those things that would make your foot slide or stumble.  He told me about keeping the grass cut low to see the snakes from afar.  That no matter how low and careful you were that a few lying tongues would slither pass your defenses and bite and poison your love and dreams.  Even more importantly, he taught me how to be a man.

The task he faced helping raise me was not easy.  Rebellious and a hard-headed youngster as most would describe.  He stepped up to the plate swinging to help my mom while my father faded into a distant memory and out of my life.  With dedication and conviction, he molded me into the very man I am today.

I laugh as I polish my fingers over the scars of knowledge on my legs I gained while my grandfather pushed me proudly off into life as I pedaled franticly  on my bicycle trying not to come to a stumbling crash.  It was in moments like this where pain and frustration lead to success.  I loved him for that, both the knowledge and the scars of memory. I remember the look of joy in his eyes; not when I had finally mastered my balance without crashing, but they joy that burned in his eyes when I would get back up and brush myself off after each fall and get back on the bike for another round. I still remember the words that stopped me from crying after I had nearly broken my arm, “The greatest glory is in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Accepting to fall, take pain, and get back up again, these are the qualities one of the greatest men who ever lived had.  My grandfather’s sickness had begun to consume his body and make it fragile and full of hurt, but not a spot of weakness could be found.

To be cont………………………………………………………………………………..

An excerpt from The University of Life  By: Bené “dapoet” Fleming

Can you imagine at your current age how you would feel if your parent(s) did the same thing. You would be angry, you would want them to stop fighting, you would want them to do this in the privacy of their home or court room.  You would not want the beginning of your destiny wide open for millions to laugh and pass judgement.

One day after school that child will sit in front of the computer surf You Tube  and watch a man  he/she knows as their father vehemently deny his seed and their mother being laughed at because she is now portrayed as something less than a woman. There is a chance this kid develops serious psychologiclal problems or even continue  the cycle. This opens up for bullying in school, depression, questions of self-worth and God forbid suicide.

We all know mistakes happen and no one is exempt from life’s situations, but we must strive daily to make better decisions. We must think unselfishly before we lay down with someone and 9 months later when there is a child involved. Know your worth, understand  the worth of your child and lets show Maury and the world that our children are worth more than TV ratings.

Lets take back our lives, take back our responsibility, lets take back our Authority.

How well you know your friend

Referring someone whom you’ve met just a few times or haven’t been in contact with in years could be risky. Before you press “send” and pass on his résumé, it’s important for you to evaluate what you know about the person and how he acts in the workplace.

His employment history

Even if you’ve never worked with your friend, finding out his employment history before sending out a recommendation is a good move. Think about it objectively before making a decision. Should your friend get a negative reputation on the job, it could put you in an uncomfortable position.

Would you vouch for him to human resources?

Even if you just casually want to put your friend in touch with a current or former boss, this could result in the company asking for a formal referral. It’s easy to empathize with a job seeker, but formally vouching for his skills on the job is a more serious decision. If you’re not up for it, consider just providing a contact’s email or phone number but asking your friend to not mention your name.

Examine your own  reputation

Sometimes there are other more personal reasons for asking that your name not be mentioned. Your own reputation at the company or with a former boss can influence how your recommendation is perceived, Posti says. “Maybe your friend doesn’t know that you are not on good terms with your boss or that your work is just average,” he says. “Your friend may be better off pursuing the job on his or her own.” So even if you’re totally positive about your friend’s candidacy, recommending him may still not be your best bet.

Predict your own working relationship

Before making a recommendation, think ahead to what your working relationship would be like down the road. For example, if your friend works for your current company and is now reporting to you, it’s important to feel comfortable with the new dynamic. Or if the friend is a gossip, it can be valuable to keep him or her away from your current boss. Ask yourself, “Does the person know any skeletons in your closet that might be spilled out over drinks at the company’s Christmas party?” Posti says. Before passing on his résumé, think carefully about how it could affect your career.

I recently had a chance to chop it up with one of my influences in the fashion world Nick Wooster at the Neiman Marcus Men’s Fashion Show at Mazza Galleria. For those who do not know Nick Wooster, he’s the head director of men’s fashion at Neiman Marcus and also Bergdorf Goodman. He is one of the most fashion forward men you would every meet, he has appeared in countless street style blogs from all over the world including mine.

Back to my take on the show, I was in the presence of trendsetters and fashion forward gents from the DC area. The show setup was a Q&A so after each model walked, the audience could ask Nick questions about the look. I was expecting the latest Spring/Summer 2011 looks but what I got was a microcosm of the DC area. Five minutes into the show, one model came out in cargo shorts; you could see the faces and hear the groans of the gents in attendance. With no fault of Nick the show had a lot to be desired. When I asked Nick why DC seems to always get what I would call “the safe picks” he responded that it’s the market here.

After the show, we discussed the challenges the DC male consumer has when it comes to expression of personal style and having outlets to express their personal style. One of the issues that I brought up was the lack of options here. Whenever I ask my friends or people on the street where they got those cool shoes or shirt their answer is always the same, I got them in NY, in Paris, in Tokyo, or online which is disheartening. Yes the Net has made the world a lot smaller and has definitely equaled the fashion playing field with designers but to get the full experience of clothing, I believe the best way is to touch, feel and try on the garments which cannot be done virtually.

Now with a click of a button, I can buy the latest chambray shirt from Beams in Japan therefore I would expect fashion retailers would definitely want to put a major emphasis on providing the most avant-garde fashion forward designers and clothing that they can get in their stores to not only introduce new clientele but maintain their loyal ones. From my experience in DC, when it comes to fashion much of the blame is on the stores that are catering to a particular clientele, the conservative type who have disposal income but lacks style and fashion forwardness. These types determine how store managers and buyers make their decisions and in DC, it all comes down to what is moving off the racks instead of it coming down to style and fashion. Which can Both can coexist.

Amir Browder

Orlando: What music do you enjoy listening to most?

Cherie: I listen to everything from R & B to country to speed metal (laughs). I grew up in a family full of musicians so I learned music appreciation early, even though I was not a successor of their talents (laughs).

Orlando: Who’s your favorite artists?

Cherie: I have a real big thing for Prince from the 70′s till now he amazes me! BUT I am like the rest of the world, I am waiting on that DETOX! Dr. Dre is an uber amazing talent that is like no other and he has been going strong for over 20 years, and has the ear of a musical God! Yup I said it “I am jocking Dr. Dre’s fresh!”

Orlando: According to your Twitter page, you love sports. What are your favorite teams?

Cherie: I am from Pittsburgh so naturally I am a STEELER fan! I live and breathe football but I also have a thing for the most underrated man in basketball and that is MR. PAUL PIERCE yeah that’s right I might live in LA but I am an east coast girl BOSTON baby. Plus Paul wears the head band like I did on Punky Brewster so we go way back! (Only in my mind, I don’t know him).

Orlando: What is in the future for Cherie Johnson?

Cherie: This summer my new book “Peaches & Cream” comes out! Peaches and Cream is about Peaches, a little girl from Duquesne, PA. who is wise beyond her years. She has big dreams and realizes early on that the choices she makes can change her world and her family’s. She doesn’t comprehend the word “No” or phrase “You can’t.” She is what some might call an overachiever. Cash rules everything around her but where she overachieves in monetary things she lacks in understanding of human emotions due to a family secret that haunted her from childhood. She’s got the money, the cars, clothes and she is successful. Peaches doesn’t like labels and refuses to define her sexuality by labeling herself to make others comfortable and she doesn’t care how anyone feels about it or her. While in the midst of struggling to better herself by all means necessary life’s obstacles would not get the best of her she would get the best of any and everyone who stood in the way of her goals. Peaches had a point to prove to the most important person in her life and that was herself. She was going to get to the top and stay at the top. Her ego forces her to make decisions that will haunt her forever.

Orlando: What are things you look for in a man and what are qualities that you, as a woman, don’t see anymore in men?

Cherie: Honesty is huge for me. Together I can overcome anything with someone if they are honest from the start! What happened to men who knew how to fix things? My grandfather could fix any and everything and if he didn’t know how give him an hour and he figured it out! Now that’s sexy…..yeah I called Grandpa sexy. It’s nice to have a man around who can actually help me. The roles between men and women are changing so much. I want a strong God-fearing, honest, handyman who has passion and goals. Not a talker or daydreamer but a doer!

Orlando: What’s one thing about you that most people couldn’t tell about you just by looking at you?

Cherie: I’ve been told over and over that people trip out that I am so down to earth they expect me to be stuck up. Now that is weird to me because I grew up on TV playing a best friend and people think they know me because I’m on TV. Well why wouldn’t they know me as their best friend? I don’t get it but I think what trips a lot of people out is that I am a major nerd and as a woman I embrace it because when I was young I was not the cool kid in school. I love to read and write. I’m not a TV watcher unless it’s sports. I am a big football fan! I’m from Pittsburgh, PA and was born with Steeler Blood!

So there you have it. Cherie Johnson up-close and personal. I can tell you that from the short time that I’ve been in contact with her, she is indeed an extremely cool and down-to-earth and intelligent person and she certainly knows her sports. Follow her on Twitter @cheriejohnson75

Orlando Briggs (@LyricalKinesis)

I’ve taken a small survey from a few women that I know and some of the replies that I received are the same and others were different. Though it doesn’t speak for every single woman out there, the main idea here is to paint a picture to men out there who feel that women are too difficult to understand or are seeking answers as to why they’re highly unsuccessful with women.

Most respectable women want a man who is highly confident without showing a hint of arrogance. They want a man who’s going to stand up for her when necessary. Women like to be courted and they want to feel like they’re dealing with someone who’s interested in her personality and not just her physical attributes. A good woman wants a man who is willing to be there for her during the critical moments that she needs him as well as be able to deal with any and all of her shortcomings. A good woman wants her man to be her best friend, her confidante, her lover, her healer, her everything.

But some women don’t fit into the “good woman” category. Although the “not-so-good” women look for some of the things that good women look for in a man, they seek them in the ulterior context. For example, good women want a man who’s financially stable, and that means that they want a man who can take care of her, but wouldn’t need him to very often because she’s able to take care of herself. A “not-so-good” woman wants a man who will take on her every responsibility so that she doesn’t have to do anything on her woman. A woman like that usually has nothing to offer in a relationship and in no way will help a man grow unless she can directly reap the benefits that he alone has sowed. A “not-so-good” woman looks for a man who is weak-willed, is next to clueless to his surroundings, very trusting, and is desperate for love. If this type of woman can find a man who fits this description, it will quickly turn into a catastrophe for the man while the woman feels like she has won the lottery.

So in all, what do women want? There’s no simple answer. We, as men, need to not look for what ALL women want and instead focus on the type of women that we individually look for and go from there. The greatest romantic relationships are those that were initially unexpected. If you don’t rush love, it will eventually find you naturally.

Standing… waiting to be broken before thee

Searching for new direction, understanding, and purpose

That only your guidance can provide me.

I can feel the changes slowly but surely happening

I am becoming something better, BIGGER, and brand new

Being pulled from my old ways and life

One of pain, another of disappointment;

And I’m being filled with a love that is true.

My friends may not understand the journey and path I must walk

Because this is much BIGGER than their criticisms and opinions

So I void out the negative, and ignore the talk.

Things seem much sweeter

And every move and step becomes meaningful

And every vision and thoughts become so very crystal clear.

Now I know what it means when you said perfect love cast out all fear.

No where near perfection and far-far away from where you want me to be.

But still here I stand

Rooted and waiting for your words to move my stubborn feet.

Our endless thoughts of lost ones, whose endless memories are always in our heart.
Our endless ends, which we will always endlessly assume is our only start.
Our endless respect, that we endlessly need to be more than just a soul.
Our enless future, which is our only wish for our endless goals.
But Life goes on.

Our endless breath, which we hold dear for our endless pleasure of living.
Our endless glory, which we dwell in thanks to the endless love that our Master is giving.
Our endless glory trials and tribulations pressing on their endless dark times.
Our endless wants and answers with endless questioning within our minds.
But Life goes on.

Endless indeed like an enchanted melody from a nightingale’s evening song.
Our endless prayers and glory going up to HIM, endlessly wondering if our last breaths were breathed wrong.
Our endless freedom taken from us in a sudden blink of a tearful eye.
Our endless questioning of what the future holds, not realizing only through time, we all must die.
Our endless pain and suffering destroying our priceless dreams, lost in our last and final cry.
But life goes on.

While I breathe I hope, and until the end of all time we will strive forward and live on.
May God’s eyes watch over us as we dwell under the glorious sun.
Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, and year by year; forever life goes on.
And on, and on and on………..
If you’re looking for a ending to this poem
It is a part of life.
Which goes on and on……………

DaPoet